So we went to the Edward Colver show at the Grand Central Arts building in Santa Ana on Saturday night, there were lots and lots of people and there was a stage and some punk bands played – everyone seemed to be there to see Flipper, you see, in punk there was a need to see a band so you could swaggger and sneer to someone OH I SAW THAT BAND AND THAT BAND and the implication was (i am more punk rock than you – ha ha, superiority at last!).
That highschool shit always caused me more anxiety thatn I really could ever admit – you want to be unaffected and of course appear unaffected, but the peer-to-peer crap scrambles your brain, even if only a little, and even if it unscrambles later in life it only makes resentment smolder. Everybody seems to be such a sore fucking winner. I try to not be, but I do it as much as anyone.
I can’t recall what we did Thursday, but we went out, and I am getting a little upset at myself for not recalling. I want to call my girlfriend right now and ask her, but I am a little beside myself in that it is a total blank. I am thinking of looking in the various stacks of paper here for a clue – what restaurant maybe we ate at – maybe there is a receipt, et cetera…
Today – Monday – we went to Topanga to visit Patricia whose husband passed away last month. Ed Glendenning made delicious hamburgers – really, the best barbecued hamburger I have had in years. Then we drank iced coffee and had a Klondike bar (my favorite), so I am up and wired. We split at the very last light to make it down the mountain and back into the city. It was nice, but i wonder now if i would recall it next week if I didn’t write it down…